Dealing with Stuff.

I don't really know where to begin with this to be honest.
I've been struggling with a lot of shit lately. And honestly, I think its getting way over my head.
I suppose I gotta start somewhere, don't I?

So, if you've read my about me, you likely know that I have mental health issues on top of being autistic.
I've been very hard at work on my projects, maintaining a Discord Theme is not easy if Discord constantly rolls out class updates.
I honestly feel like I bit off a bit more than I can chew. But I honestly don't wanna give up. I legitimately feel like I've found a potential career as a web developer. And Discord Themes are very fun to make.
On the Cybersecurity side of things, I've been rather stressed as well. A lot of scary things have been happening. And I've had to update my local security a lot to account for these voulnerabilities.
Many things have been tugging and jerking me around, and I wish that I could just rest for a minute.

On an emotional level, things have been hard for me as well. I've met an amazing person who I legitimately fell in love with.
The issue is that they live in Canada, and I in the Netherlands. Clearly, very far apart.
We both know this. We've actually spoken about moving in with each other so that we have more time to spend together. But we both know that financially, this dream is very unreasonable.
This knowledge has put a lot of strain on our relationship, and I ultimately decided that for the time being, we should not be romantic partners. This is so that they shouldn't feel obliged to try and make time for me.
I know that this strain was causing them a lot of stress, and it was very obvious to me that they couldn't deal with it very well. I didn't want to overstrain them.
We still talk regularly. I think we're very good friends. But, I miss the romantic side of things a lot. I've been feeling rather lonely since the breakup, and its been the reason for a lot of my depressions lately.
I really hope we can one day be together again. But for now, this is for the best. Even if it hurts.

A lot of the issues I've been facing increase the magnitude of one another a lot. I haven't been able to focus very well on much of anything. And I haven't been able to sleep well at all.
These restless nights also add to the stress I've been dealing with, and I feel like its taking a physical toll on me. Some days, after work, I get home, lay in bed, and almost immediately pass out from the stress.
I've been meaning to see a doctor about it all, but I have not yet taken the time to make such an appointment.
I really need to get this sorted, though. Before it starts leaving permanent marks on me.

So now you know what I've been dealing with lately. I don't really know what else to put here...Thanks for reading this I guess.
Hope your lives are doing better than mine.